I am a IT professional. I live with the exhausting fear of public speaking. I can deal with small meetings and other interaction fairly well, once I get to know the people. However, being the presenter and having all eyes on me is my GREATEST fear! I have no idea why. I am the type of person who shines at work. Its a double edge sword! I tend to get huge raises and have lots of opportunities to move up. I have the fear that if I move up there is a MUCH greater probability of having to do presentations.
I spend most of my time worrying about something that does not even exist. Completely irrational thoughts! And I know it!
The last presentation I had was in college. I put-off taking Advanced Composition until my last semester. I even took the class that was modem thought (less speaking). You meet once on the first day and once on the last. Lucky me, the last day required a group presentation. I figured I worked so hard in college, I wasn't going to fail a class by not participating. Funny thing is, I gave one of the best presentations! I also, did most of the talking in my group. Did so well, that I bumped my B to an A. My wife even tells me that I come across very confident and I speak well. Why don't I see it, and why do I have this uncontrollable fear?
In the business world, I feel quite a bit more intimidated. I really don't know why. I have good days and bad. Sometimes I can speak very confidently and the anxiety levels are low. Sometimes just the mention of my name in a meeting, draws the attention to me and I melt! I feel like I need to get out of the room. I have a sense of "fight or flight" and sometimes I blush. If I think others can sense my panic, I panic even more!!
I'm in my early 30's, married, and have a 1 year old. I want to be able to speak in public without fear. If I'm asked to give a presentation, I want to look forward to it, not spend all my time in total fear until the day. What a miserable way to live. If I could get over this fear, my life would be so much better. This fear affects EVERYTHING!
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2009-09-18 11:51:28 | shyitguy
Dude its my first time on this website and your story being on the front of this page caught my eye.
i am in IT and go through the same thing as you.
I feel like i lost so many career advancement chances because im scared to speak. when im in meetings i never seem to speak complete sentences just enough words to be able to say what they ask me.
once everyone had to introduce themselves to the whole IT department in the auditorium and i almost passed out in front of everyone when it was my turn to stand up, for some reason when i spoke it seemed that i was going to start crying because my voice was so stuttery and shaky....the horror on people's face was worst than if they were watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre alone at night.......i get depressed because of it and im so scared to look for another job because i may have to talk more ......ARG.....i feel like i have so much talent but my fear blocks it out from everyones view...it sucks.
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2009-09-21 10:38:29 | Rochelle
I am a 30 year old woman and i have been going through this insane fear of public speaking my entire laugh! I thought there was something wrong with me and that i'm the only one who has suffered like this, in silence, for years. I am so glad to come across others and find a website that caters to this phobia. My whole life i haven't done things i've wanted to or advanced in my career because of this fear of public speaking. For me the thought of speaking in small groups is just as bad as speaking in big groups and having to introduce myself to a group is wrose than the thought of death itself. Please help me!!! What works?? How can i overcome this?!!
It's so debilitating! I want more out of life and i can only do that if i conquer this.
I am experiencing the exact same thing. Have you found any solution? have you tried any of the pills to overcome the physical nervousness? I am thinking of trying one.