i think i am the worst here

i know that we almost have the same condition , but seriously i think mine is extreme.
alone i can talk really well and normal , but in front of any one even the ones i love, everything goes so bad and i cant spell most of the words and find myself struggling with simplest ones.
the more i grow up the more i think of it and the more i get depressed and telling myself what my life would be if i was normal , more successful life , more friends that i actually choose them and not ones that petty my.
now i am taking a drug to control my depression and i can only hope things would go better.
i wrote this just to encourage people and send them a message that there are others that are worst than them.
sorry for my bad English.
peace